John Sheedy - Online Gedenkwebseite

It was the summer of 1979 in Washington DC.  The photo has your dad and me in the center.  He was truly a gifted, loving man of whom I have incredibly wonderful memories. 

I am now lucky enough to own this ridiculously silly and funny tie that my dad used to wear.  It is red with tiny little designs on it.....and from a few feet away, you can't really tell what these designs are.  But when you inspect them up close, you can see that they are little multi-colored hot air balloons.  So nerdy, so funny and so just like Dad.  Last time I really looked at this tie, I was thrown into a memory of when me and him went hot-air ballooning about 4 years ago in Napa, CA.  It was so special -  just something only me and him did together.  We rode around the town for about an hour or so, and it was just beautiful and peaceful.  A nice little break from big city life.  Right afterwards, we were surprised with a nice little brunch with the rest of the balloon-crew.  The tie will serve as a reminder of this special memory, so I am thankful for it.

Dad,

For some reason right now I am having a hard time remembering.  Your sudden departure was like a whirlwind through which I feel I barely had my eyes open.  It is like I am slowly forgetting what happened, or who you were to me - so in this way, this little note is a lack of memory instead of a memory itself. 

The dust has began to settle.  The burial has happened, the memorial just passed in Russia, and now matters having to do with your estate are becoming clearer.  I can finally sleep better at night; my shadow ceases to scare me.  Work is busy, so during the day I can't even think or feel much.  But maybe that is what scares me most - it's like it didn't really happen now.  I am beginning to forget what your voice sounds like, and the impulse to e mail you has gradually faded.  You are fading, and I am having a hard time keeping your soul alive inside of me. 

The residue of this tragedy leaves me with forgetfulness.  I have forgotten who I was before this happened.  I can't really walk in this world the same way I did before.  I don't remember the half of me that was you.  Maybe it is that I don't want to.  Because why should I have to be the person I was going to be, the person who wanted to better society and serve the underserved, to contribute to research and advance treatments for children........those things that I desperately wanted you to be proud of.  Why should I when you were always so far away, when I clung to some kind of hope that you would return to be a bigger part of my life?  Because now, that hope is crushed to nothingness.  Even if I wanted to be closer you, wanted you to be proud of me, wanted to BE LIKE YOU......I can't now.  Because now you are ACTUALLY gone....not sort of gone, not seemingly gone, not thousands of miles away gone.....you are unreachable now in a way I can't grasp yet.  I have always been the type of person to keep on trying, keep on hoping, keep on dreaming.  My dreams, for now, are crushed. 

The part of me that was made of you is now fading too...

Love,

Anna

You know what, lately I have been thinking a lot about college - I guess it's because I am considering heading back to graduate school in the near future.  So I have been thinking about my college tours!  For all of you who knew John Sheedy - you knew that he was a HIGHLY education man with a HIGH degree of regard for higher education.  (When I capitalize those words, I do not do so lightly). 

At the time of my senior year in high school, I was looking into drama schools, though that changed after my first year in college.  The summer before senior year, I told Dad that I wanted to look at some schools - and he was delighted to take me and Sasha.  So we rented a car and drove to several different colleges on the east coast - we toured Harvard, Yale, Columbia, NYU, Syracuse, and Ithaca in the course of 3 days or so.  We even flew out to Northwestern and back to NY in the course of a day!  It was an amazing few days.  Dad
was a trooper, and really, really helped me talk through some of my thoughts. 

On our drive up to Syracuse and Ithaca, which is a pretty solid 5-6 hours from the city, Dad was getting a little impatient, however. 

Actually, is impatient a strong enough word to describe how he was behind the wheel?

So after a long 5+ hour drive upstate, we were approaching Syracuse and suddenly hit standstill traffic.  Needless to say, dad started tailgaiting, honking the horn, and letting out a legendary string of curses to top off the long, hard drive.  Not pleasant at the time, but rather endearing and funny to look back on. 

I have 23 years of memories with my dad - where to start?  Though my heart is heavy, I sit here for some reason flooded by hilarious ones!  Dad - you are going to just have to forgive me in advance if I embarrass you up there.  Please take it with a grain of salt.  Love you.  Among some of my favorite funny memories:

1) His Dr. Evil impression.  Not only did he do the pinky thing, but one of my dad's favorite things to quote from the Austin Powers movies (in the Dr. Evil voice) was: "There is nothing like a shooorrrrn scrotum, you really must try it..."

2) When me and almost the entire family came to visit him in Russia in the summer of 2006.   It was extremely stressful and we were all snapping at each other, particularly because everyone was so worried about my grandmother's condition (she was needing a hip replacement badly).  So one day after a museum tour, we were switching off pushing my grandmother in a wheelchair.  It was dad's turn; so he grabbed the handles of the wheelchair, started wheeling her down a shallow incline....and temporarily let go of the handles as a joke just enough to scare all of us half to death, and he let out this weird Jerry Louis-type sound and kicked his leg up in the air as he did it.  Of course half a second later, he grabbed the handles again to catch the wheelchair, because his intention was certainly not to let my grandma roll down the hill...but then he did it again of course, with an even louder Jerry Louis yelp and a higher kick.  It is hard to explain in writing, but those who were there know how funny this was :)

3) When me and my sister were little, he would tell us fantastical stories about a space squirrel name Elmer who, with his other posse of space animals, would travel the universe and go on crazy adventures.  To this day, I still think these stories are HILARIOUS and creative!!

4) Sometimes when we were all cooking together as a family, like for Thanksgiving or Christmas, he would smack his own butt with a spatula to get some laughs.

5) When Dad would visit the states, he would always wake up super early because of jet-lag at my gradma's.  Me and my sister and cousins always slept later than him, and when any of us would come out of the room still sleepy-eyed and disheveled, he would exclaim, in a really horrid yet comical voice: "IT'S ALLIIIVEE!"

So many, many, many more.  I will no doubt be back to document more memories of him over time.

This only skims the surface of my dad's sense of humor.  I was always jealous of it.  Dad, can you still make me laugh from heaven? 

Love, your daughter,

Anna Birdie

(He used to sing a song to me when I was a little girl....it went, Anna Birdie, Anna Birdie, Anna is a birrrdieee....flying in the sky so high....)